Thursday night was Fascinate. It was quite a different experience than usual. Very personal. Oftentimes God will speak to us as a group or give several of us the same verse or similar visions, but last night He spoke to us each on a highly individual level. It was quite peaceful.
...For the most part, anyway.
Okay. Here goes. But before I tell you what I saw, I have to say this: PLEASE read everything I'm about to say before you judge, question, or raise an eyebrow! At first, I was quite taken aback by the whole thing, but it really came around in the end, so hear me out. :)
Towards the beginning of the night, I was communing with the Lord. Hadn't really seen anything in the spirit yet; just been getting into worship. As I went deeper, I had a sudden vision that really unsettled me. I saw the Lord standing before me. He had a staff in His hands. Out of nowhere, he started hitting me with it! There I was just chilling and Jesus starts beating me with this staff! I was literally shaking and jumping with every blow. The interesting thing is that every time he hit me, I heard the verse, "spare the rod, spoil the child." In shock, I opened my eyes to the physical world around me and tried to shake it off. A moment later I returned to that same vision, but to see Jesus putting down the staff. He came over to me and loved on me; He petted my hair and wiped my tears. Then I saw Him wrap me up tightly in white cloth from my neck to my feet. Amazingly enough, I didn't feel constricted. The action was healing and comforting.
When the vision ended, I was definitely unsettled. God is Love, right? I know that He tests us and burns away the dross and all that stuff, but that was a little far for me. Not something I like to think about. Every time I've seen Jesus in the spirit, it's always been positive and revolved around His loving nature... So this was weird. The bad thing on my part was that even though I had the feeling that the vision was from God, I wanted to pass it off as being an attack from the enemy or just some wacky thing I made up in my head. Basically, I had zero understanding and chose to ignore God-- which is a very unwise thing to do, by the way.
Worship continued and I had more visions. Good, nice, love filled visions. Now He was speaking my language! I forgot all about the first one, deliberately deciding it was "nothing."
However, right before we were going to leave later that evening, a friend in the group said something (I wish I remembered what) that acted as a confirmation that the vision was from God. I shared, hoping for direction and understanding. What I got was a bible verse that was pretty ridiculously accurate and explanatory. Here's what Job 5.17-18 says:
"How happy is the one whom God reproves; therefore do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For He wounds, but He binds up; He strikes, but His hands heal."
Wow. Light bulb. The Lord wasn't showing me mindless violence, but discipline. He is our Father, after all. And what do fathers do? They discipline in love. They discipline so as to make their children grow up in a right way. When a parent spanks their child in love, the point is guidance, not punishment alone. He wounded me, but then he bound me up-- literally; from neck to toe. Even Christ was called into obedience through his sufferings (Hebrews 5.8). If Jesus, who was God physically walking on earth, had to endure suffering to become obedient, why shouldn't I have to endure the same?
The bottom line is this (something I think I'd grasped but maybe hadn't understood so clearly before): We should not mourn in our sufferings, but rejoice in God's discipline. If not for His discipline and loving guidance, how could we grow in His ways? I don't know about you, but no matter what it takes, I want to be like Jesus. I want to be continually cleansed and purified--even if by fire--so that my body is an acceptable dwelling place for the Holy Spirit. His ways are not my ways, but I want them to be. That's the cry of my heart, and how else but through discipline?
Lord, I offer myself to you. Take all of my brokenness and make me new. Search my heart for anything that is not of you and break me of it however you choose to. I welcome your discipline. With all my heart; with all I am, I beseech you... Make me more like Christ.
Amen.
Peace, Love, and Christ
Kharis
No comments:
Post a Comment